Find your identity

The Choice We All Face: Living in Self-Misunderstanding or Finding Our Own Identity

We all face this choice at some point in our lives, whether it’s in childhood or later as we reach adulthood. We can choose to live with self-misunderstanding, thinking of ourselves based on the beliefs and actions of others, never knowing who we truly are because our identity is always formed in relation to something outside of us. Or we can forge our own path and find out who we truly are independent of these influences, drawing our own box that can only be defined by us and what we do or say inside it.

What is self-misunderstanding?

There are moments when I look back at my life and wonder how I ended up here. How did I get so lost that I couldn’t find my way out? How did I come to believe that this is who I am? What happened to the person who used to be happy, confident, ambitious, and loved by everyone around her? This person doesn’t even feel like she’s a part of me anymore. Sometimes it feels like there are two people living inside of me. One is convinced she has found her destiny and the other one is trying desperately to break free. The truth is that it’s not just two people living inside of me; there are many people. But we don’t need to understand what they all want, because we can only focus on ourselves. We have one choice: continue living our lives feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or we find our identity independent of it. You draw your own box

How does self-misunderstanding keep us from finding our own identity?

Living our life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding is a way of avoiding the responsibilities and realities that come with finding our own identity. But when we choose to live this way, we are pretending as though we do not care about who we are and what others might think of us. When we are living a life dictated by self-misunderstanding, it keeps us from having an identity that is independent of it. It’s hard to be who you want to be if you’re not confident enough to know who you are. And without knowing your identity and what makes you feel good about yourself, how can you make good decisions for yourself?

What are the consequences of living in self-misunderstanding?

When we live in self-misunderstanding, we exist as a person who is unclear about their identity. This can lead to feeling lost and disconnected from the world around us. It’s difficult to make meaningful relationships because it’s hard to feel like you know who you are or what you’re looking for. Without an understanding of what makes us who we are, it’s hard to decide what kind of life we want and how we should approach our future. Basically, living in self-misunderstanding means that you don’t know who you are, and so everything becomes a series of choices made without thought because those choices don’t have any meaning. You never get anywhere because there is nothing driving your decisions other than the fact that they’re just not clear.

How can we find our own identity independent of self-misunderstanding?

It’s difficult to find our own identity and live a fulfilling life when we’re constantly living as if we are someone else. It’s like we are wearing someone else’s clothes, getting lost in this abyss of self-misunderstanding. This can be especially true for those who were raised by parents who have high expectations for their children and often ignore the child’s wants and needs. However, there are ways to break out of this cycle and find your own identity independent from others’ expectations.
First, it is important to accept that it is impossible to please everyone. You will inevitably make mistakes along the way and people will point them out– don’t let this get you down; instead, learn from these mistakes so you can become better at what you do.